Posts from ‘February, 2008’

My recent investigations into the mysteries of the United States Patent Office, well not so mysterious as it is undiscerning and undiscriminating, has unearthed a whole host of opportunistic patents. That is, the patenting of stuff we’ve all been doing, independent of the patent process, for centuries. The practice is not unlike hearing small children [...]

Today dear readers, I am turning my blog over to you. That's because frankly, I'm stumped

We’ve all heard that a good fright is one way to cure a bout of the hiccups. Admittedly, that’s never worked for me, but I’m not the kind of girl who scares easily. (The nutrition label on a bag of Cheetos notwithstanding.) Well it seems back in 2003, Philip Ehlinger, Jr., in the style of [...]

I love cows. Despite their size, they are docile, gentle creatures. When left to their own devices, cows give us milk, which in turn we use to nourish ourselves, make butter, cream and all manner of deliciously naughty things. But cows have a darker, more sinister side. Their seemingly innocent way of life is feared [...]

If you're anything like me, you spend an inordinate amount of time typing away at your computer. You do so knowing every keystroke brings you one step closer to a carpal tunnel disease diagnosis; every glance at the screen teases your vision with astigmatism

I'm afraid a quick glance at my articles might give some readers the wrong impression: that I have an affinity for anything relating to bodily functions. In particular, anything people do in the bathroom

Valentine's Day is just around the corner and that means that once again you are confronted with a holiday that is likely to put a little extra meat on your bones. The irony of all this is that that extra meat on your bones often greatly decreases your chances of being someone's Valentine! So, what will you do if you've resolved not to eat any chocolates this coming Thursday? How about looking to the United States Patent Office for a couple of incentives to help you with your resolve

I’ve read that some of the most successful inventions are those that respond to an everyday need. If that’s the case, then Samuel S. Applegate holds the patent for what could be the most effective alarm clock ever.

In my previous blog, A Big, Long D*ck for Valentine's Day , I alerted you to a patent that could help you realize your manly potential.

If you're tired of getting chocolates for Valentine's Day, why not give your guy international patent W09918897 and give yourself a great, big somethin' somethin' in the process? International patent WO9918897 is nothing new. In fact, it is easy to lose sight of it in an already crowded field filled with pumps , devices , pills , dvd kits , etc