Posts from ‘December, 2008’

US patent #5421089 was issued back in 1995, and it is not known what exactly inspired the inventor to create this method of forced slower eating.

Nobody knows the truffles I’ve seen.

Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic .

U.S. Patent #3,538,508 , also known to those who follow most things blindly as the Pillow Crash Helmet , is a pillow that folds in half in the event of a crash and is placed over the passenger’s head, and strapped under the chin.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

The world’s first Motorized Picnic Table , aka Patent #663734 , has a stated purpose. According to the inventor, “It’s meant for transporting picnic-goers and the table simultaneously to a desired picnic location or for picnicking while in transport.”   So forget about finding that shady spot under that lovely tree and relaxing under a beautiful blue sky.

Issued in the summer of 1991, Patent #5,031,161, the Lifetime Expectancy Timepiece consists of a starting mechanism for causing the timer to begin measuring the elapsed time from the moment of birth and includes a processor programmed to measure it. Seeming truly like an overlooked plot straight out of The Twilight Zone, this Life Expectancy Timepiece has always had a questionable market value.

Patent 6,681,419 concerns a mounting device known as the Forehead Support Apparatus . It is a gizmo that is adapted for attachment to a bathroom wall either above the commode or urinal or below the showerhead.

We’ve all heard of Advent, that important religious period preceding Christmas, and probably this British inventor meant well. But there’s still the word, ‘advent’ with a lower case ‘a’ that implies the ‘important arrival’ of something

US Patent #4344424 , the Anti-Eating Face Mask , has been around for a few decades, but there can be little doubt that it is just as silly today as it was when the original patent was issued to a woman from Sacramento (whose name is being withheld to protect the silly).